Prompt Tuesday

Thanks to San Diego Momma for Prompt Tuesday. Our challenge is to write for 10 minutes while focusing on the word, "held." My stream of consciousness follows:

Held her in my arms. The very first time. She was so strong, but felt so delicate in my arms. I wanted to make my life with her. We were in many ways different. We shared a friendship that grew into love. I've sometimes thought that I loved her the very first time that I saw her, she was wearing her sweatpants and green army cap. There was an openness about her, she was curious about things. She wasn't frivolous. She was disciplined about the way that she approached things in life. I respected that in her and wished that I had more of that in myself. And then there were times when she let all the walls down and just gave herself the freedom to be a loon. It was a joy to watch her when she just let go. I loved her and held her in my heart.

Held her in my hands. The very first time. So small. Helpless. Our first child. Her eyes held the reflection of the souls in our family that came before me. Those that I felt but never knew. They were with her too. This moment was so precious, I held on to this wonderful warm feeling. Tears came to my eyes. This little thing gave me this beautiful moment in time. We shared it, it was something so special between us, but it would never be part of her memory of me.

Held my head in my hands and cried. I wondered why . . . .

(Time's up.)